I know everyone says time flies but it's true. I feel like the last 16 years happened in the blink of an eye. On January 15th 2002 at 5:23pm I gave birth to a 7 lb 14 1/2 oz baby boy. I was a baby myself... having a baby.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. I had just turned 18 years old and a senior in high school. I went to the doctor for a pregnancy test, based on the levels the doctor wanted me to come back two weeks later for an ultrasound. That's when we discovered I was around 26 weeks pregnant with a BOY. I went from wearing size 2 clothes...not showing, not knowing I was pregnant to having a basketball belly and 6 1/2 months pregnant within 2 weeks.
We decided to get married to make things right with God. Except in Nebraska you're still a minor until you turn 19. My mother had to sign off on us getting married. Oct 4th 2001 we got married at the courthouse. Besides craving raisin bran cereal, steak and pineapples the rest of the pregnancy was uneventful. My January 8th due date passed and a week later on January 15th at 7am I was induced. THANK YOU JESUS for epidural !! 5:23pm Cayden was born and I was a teen mom, married in high school with a newborn.
While most of my friends went to prom, college and figured out life as an adult. I was at home with a baby. Trying to figure out breastfeeding, changing diapers and not sleeping. Cayden and I have grown up together, still to this day when I drop him off at high school I feel like I should be there... it feels like I was in high school yesterday.
At the age of 25 I told my husband that what I wanted from a spouse at the age of 16 (when we started dating) wasn't the same as what I need at the age of 25. The song "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift was me. After a very long..messy divorce it was over. I had always hoped that we could each move on, find other partners and still be friends. Have joint birthday parties, celebrate the kids milestones together..but separate. If that makes sense lol. My ex couldn't. One day he moved away from the kids... a couple months later he stopped visits and all contact. Seven years later we haven't heard from him. I can't explain what it's like raising children who think their father doesn't love them. For about three years they grieved their father leaving, as if he had died. After a lot of therapy Cayden is slowly getting better. He still have issues with anxiety and depression around the holiday's every year from November to February Cayden is a different person. I can't explain it.
Today I decided to get the baby photos out of storage and we looked through 4 totes of family photos. This is the first time that we have looked at those photos since the divorce. I was hoping this would bring possible closure. We laughed... mostly at my clothes and hair cuts. BUT he also made the comment that he looks more like David then his father. I'm going to take that as closure and accepting David as his father figure. <3
Here's a few photos of us over the last 16 years.
Just before we left the house to have Cayden. 41 weeks pregnant.
7 lbs 14 1/2 oz... I can't believe he's mine!
After the courthouse wedding, that bouquet is hiding the basketball size belly.
The first house we bought... at the age of 20. This was also the house I grew up in and brought Alivia home from the hospital.
